i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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