I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
