its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
well I can't set my house on fire every night
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
