I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
