i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
