my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
