from now on my penis is your penis
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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