Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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