Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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