Someone shit on the floor
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just want to make out with him forever
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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