What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
