Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
