so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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