Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Randomize
