I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Randomize