were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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