Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
