I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
