Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My dick has a subreddit
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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