Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm like, not good at living.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
