mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
