My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
