Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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