next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
