Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
