i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
