He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
