Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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