Only a mothe r could love this liver
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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