somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I love you. Go after that dick
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
