Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
