One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
