I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize