He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
