She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
