i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
