i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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