Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
