im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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