kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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