Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
