Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you win again, gameday.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
