This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize