what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
