He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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