i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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