yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
