You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
