I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
