My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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