Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im holly from the hills drunk
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
