I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
