hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
