Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Your cock deserves a montage
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
