Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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