:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
