While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
