i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
he's gonorrhea incarnate
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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