I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize