It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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