Ambien. No doubt about it.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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