a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
