i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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