i already hear my dad disowning me
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
