we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
