Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
wow bdsm is so cute
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
