I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
