Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
