Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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