I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize