haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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